strange enough but it worked.
I had to delete on all 3 pc the content of the folder /var/lib/opensearch
then restarting the nodes now i get my cluster up and running.
curl -XGET http://10.17.60.103:9200/_cat/nodes?v -u 'admin:admin' --insecure
ip heap.percent ram.percent cpu load_1m load_5m load_15m node.role master name
10.17.60.102 30 75 2 0.06 0.05 0.02 dimr - dw4-test-node1
10.17.60.103 41 75 3 0.14 0.11 0.04 dimr * dw4-test-node2
10.17.60.104 21 71 2 0.08 0.07 0.02 dimr - dw4-test-node-3